Blog

Among the biggest challenges that spouses face when they divorce are the debilitating fears that often accompany their thinking about the divorce. It is common for the parties to feel anxious, worried, sleepless, troubled, concerned, cautious, and nervous. Fear of being controlled, fear of being manipulated, fear of being ignored, fear of not being heard, fear of losing control, fear of not being respected, and fear of feeling like a failure are all common emotions that can negatively impact a party's ability to make wise decisions during divorce. Couples will also encounter fears related to the high costs of the divorce and they may fear that they do not have enough money to pay for the divorce. They may be apprehensive about their future financial well-being and frightened that they will suffer irreparable financial harm after the divorce. These financial fears are magnified when the couple has to face the additional challenges of late-life divorce and find that their original plans for retirement are no longer feasible.

The best antidote for these fears is for the parties to participate in a mediation process that allows them to make their own decisions about how they will divide marital assets, determine financial support and parent their children. With a trusted, skilled, and experienced mediator as their guide, they can overcome their divorce fears. When a mediator provides legal information, facilitates the parties’ negotiations, and generates options for the parties to consider they are empowered and instead of fearing failure they will have the confidence to participate effectively in their divorce decision-making process. By providing a safe place for decision making and an opportunity for both parties to be heard their fears of being ignored or disrespected begin to fade. Mediators will also know when to collaborate with other professionals to help the parties make the best financial decisions based on their financial circumstances. When divorce fears are managed through the mediation process the couple can make wise decisions that are thoughtful, intelligent, and worry-free.