Which Divorce Metaphor Will You Choose?

By Terri Breer

If divorce is war, then you seek to win battles, defend your position, prepare to attack, and stockpile ammunition. Your children will become casualties of your war.

If divorce is a journey, then you look to the future, pick your destination, take one step at a time, and determine your own path. Your children will be your fellow travelers.

The metaphor you choose will create and shape your divorce experience. In our current culture too many divorcing couples are influenced by the concept that divorce is destructive like war rather than seeing divorce as a transformative process, a journey where positive change and a bright future are possible. Imagine a divorce process where both parties are fellow travelers who will ultimately follow their own individual paths and choose their vision for the future. Instead of being more concerned about being right and proving the other wrong, of fighting over past transgressions, and plotting mutual assured destruction, couples might explore their options, look for the best approach, positively transform and grow through the divorce process.

Today’s divorcing couples have a choice to make. They can choose to treat their divorce as a destructive legal event, where their respective lawyers and experts take aim at each other, or consider their process as an opportunity for adventure. In mediation the divorce-as- war metaphor has no place. Winning and losing is replaced with win-win outcomes. In mediation, couples embark on a cooperative journey where the trail and ultimate destination is the result of collaboration and problem solving. In mediation, the parties map their paths rather than draw battle lines, they creatively plan their future instead of aggressively planning how they will win their war.

The metaphors we choose to describe divorce actually influence the way we divorce.

What metaphor will you choose?

When you commit to a cooperative mindset, choose a sensible dispute resolution model and assemble a team of divorce professionals to guide you through the process, you and your spouse will be empowered to make wise decisions regarding the termination of your marriage.

Call now to schedule an initial consultation with one of our Divorce Attorney Mediators.

Secure a bright future for your family.

Breer Law Offices

7700 Irvine Center Drive,

Suite 800,

Irvine, CA 92618

Phone. 949.788.2992

Fax. 949.788.2993