Blog

Give up your Wizards!

By Terri Breer

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Many people will advise divorcing couples to rely on their attorneys and the Judge assigned to their case to obtain the best result in their divorce proceedings. Divorcing couples and their well meaning friends and family members may believe that the court will be the best place to solve all of their family law disputes and that magically the Judge will know what to do in their case and will grant them all their wishes in the divorce. Like Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion who are "off to see the Wizard" and travel to the Emerald City because they are certain the Wizard of Oz will provide them all they desire, divorcing couples go to the Courthouse eager to present th...

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Many of us learned the gymnastic term the “twisties” this week when the news broke that world-renowned gymnast, Simone Biles, had withdrawn from the women's all-around competition at the Tokyo Olympics. “I just don't trust myself as much as I used to," Biles told reporters in Tokyo and she stated that she “wanted to focus on her mental health.”


Apparently, getting “the twisties” is a gymnast’s biggest nightmare. The twisties are described as a mysterious phenomenon -- suddenly a gymnast is no longer able to do a twisting skill he or she has done thousands of times before. Elle Reeve, a CNN reporter who used to compete in gymnastics said the twi...

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Many divorce litigation attorneys are highly skilled and knowledgeable about family law and may be Certified Family Law Specialists. Litigation attorneys often reassure their clients that they will fight for them and secure all they are entitled to in the divorce. A spouse going through a divorce will often find that their litigation attorney is comforting, caring, and understanding, but litigation attorneys like the great boxing champion, Mohammed Ali, are trained to fight. They may look like butterflies, but they can sting like bees.


Attorneys are first trained to fight in law school, where they learn how to persuade, negotiate, apply pressure, and use the strength of the law to convince a ...

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Most couples marry without a prenuptial agreement; however, even if the couple does not create a prenuptial agreement, they are in essence getting a prenup when they marry, because the entire family law code is now imbedded in their relationship. Couples who marry in a community property state have in essence formed a partnership with terms that were never negotiated. Other than the parties’ mutual agreement to marry and their wedding vows, there is usually no specific “meeting of the minds” on the specific terms and conditions of the marital relationship. Their marital agreement is also going to be impacted by societal values, norms, and laws that often change during the...

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If you are divorcing and have avoided litigating with your spouse by using mediation to resolve your divorce you have given yourself and your children a gift that keeps on giving. It is a gift that demonstrates your ability to put your family first. It is a gift that will empower you to make wise decisions and control the outcome of your divorce. Mediation is a gift that allows you to preserve your finances so that your retirement and your children’s college fund will remain intact after the divorce. It is a gift that will give you skills that you can use to resolve the inevitable conflict that will arise with your ex-spouse as you co-parent in the future. Be sure and share the gift ...

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Words Hurt Too

By Terri Breer
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As children most of us heard the saying “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Perhaps the author of this ditty wanted to teach their child that kids who bully and say mean things can only hurt you if you let them, or maybe the point was an attempt to encourage “toughness” and to “turn the other cheek.” However, we all learned early on that the words we speak and the words that are spoken to us can hurt us.

A more accurate version of this saying is found in a poem by Ruby Redfort:

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can also hurt me.
Stones and sticks break only skin, while words are ghosts that ha...

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Marriage counselors often talk about how couples repeat the same "dance steps" when they argue. It is common for couples who are divorcing to have developed some bad communication styles, and they may have engaged in these styles for so long that they are now habitual. A marriage counselor may try to teach couples new dance steps to save their marriage and handle conflict. Unfortunately, if the couple continues to be stuck in old patterns of conflict, these destructive patterns do not get any better when they divorce.

Destructive Divorce Dances

THE LIMBO

Characteristics

  • Cut down criticisms
  • Not fair fighting
  • Pushing buttons

How Low Can You Go?

THE MACARENA

Characteristics

  • Arguments never die out
  • Alway...
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Whether the parties have agreed to sell the Family Residence, or one spouse is going to “buyout” the other spouse’s marital interest in the home they will want to consider the following before they negotiate the final settlement terms and conditions regarding the disposition of the Family Residence:

• Are they emotionally ready to negotiate with the other party?
• Have they gathered sufficient legal and financial information for wise decision-making?
• Have they generated options based on the total marital estate and incorporating a global perspective?
• Have they had sufficient opportunity to consider the input of financial advisors and real estate professi...

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This is the second part of a Three-Part Article on best practices for mediating the disposition of the Family Residence. Last week’s blog focused on the important considerations and questions that need to be addressed when the parties are deciding whether to sell or stay in the family home. This article will assume that the parties have agreed to list the Family Residence for sale.

Mediators and other divorce professionals should rely on a step-by-step process that they routinely implement to ensure that their clients consider all the practical and financial issues involved in selling the Family Residence. In most cases, the parties will have a myriad of concerns and fears that include...

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The most common issue that parties negotiate when a Family Residence is part of their marital estate is whether it will be listed for sale, or whether one party will keep the home and “buyout” the other party’s interest. There are other options that the couple might consider, but for the most part the parties are weighing the two basic options of whether to sell or stay.

Sometimes parties will arrive at their first mediation session with the Family Residence already in escrow or listed for sale. Other times they have decided that Husband or Wife will keep the residence and they have calculated and agreed on how much money the party keeping the home will pay the other party ...

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When you commit to a cooperative mindset, choose a sensible dispute resolution model and assemble a team of divorce professionals to guide you through the process, you and your spouse will be empowered to make wise decisions regarding the termination of your marriage.

Call now to schedule an initial consultation with one of our Divorce Attorney Mediators.

Secure a bright future for your family.

Breer Law Offices

7700 Irvine Center Drive,

Suite 800,

Irvine, CA 92618

Phone. 949.788.2992

Fax. 949.788.2993

Email. terri@breerlaw.com